CB/LG
Time to dust off our Urban Outfitters-bought Red Cross tote bags.

     In the interest of full disclosure, while I intend on being critical about our Nation’s perception of international tragedy, I in no way mock the severity of these events or belittle the way these victims are able to persevere in ways I think myself incapable. So read this entry carefully before sending me any kind of ridiculous critiques or question my morals or sensitivity. 

    In the wake of a disastrous Earthquake that has brought one of the World’s strongest Nations (in every fathomable sense) to it’s knees; I was having a discussion with my very best friend about the very topic. In the discussion I made the statement “I am sick of hearing about these International tragedies.” By that, I mean that whenever a Natural Disaster or Political Uprising threatens the lives of a country less fortunate than ours; websites like Tumblr & Twitter are aglow with false empathy & trendy protest. Haiti, Egypt, Libya, & now surely Japan are all prime examples. 

    Now obviously, you could easily question what qualifies me to decide who’s concern is legitimate & who’s is purely for the sake; though before you finished that thought, I’m sure you could think of examples of Tumblr posts that were constructed by someone who seems emotionally connected to the issue & someone who just wants to look like Bono. 

       Scenario one - Someone posts a photo of a child clinging to a service pole as the waters rise around him. Below the photo is a brief account of this child’s particular incident, and a link to either a donation site or hotline.

     Scenario two** - A heavily edited/doctored photo of some Japanese landmark (obviously an obscure one, lest we lose any “indie” street cred, even in Japan) with a Ghandi quote that the poster has both, never read before posting, and is doing so only after googling “Ghandi Quote.” Only after finding one that is vaguely poignant to the situation, can they truly look like they give a sh*t. Below their photoshopped philanthropy, there will be some sort of snide/hair-brained remark, critical of either our, or the respective Nation’s handling of the crisis, penned only after skimming the CNN.com headlines page for the least amount of information required for a confrontational facebook status. 

If I still have your attention, I know you’re donning a grin as you can easily name followers of yours, guilty of this. It’s shameful that in this country, we need to consider taking a break from the internet until a Tragedy dies down, purely because all the fake concern makes us realize how detached our people are. If you look at past tragedies or movements, you wonder if they’d have reached the same outcome in a modern setting. Would the civil rights movement have played out with such an urgency & perseverance had our current generation been a part of it? Would the holocaust be forever revered as the darkest time in all of humanity if 16 year olds in unprescribed horn-rim glasses were making glittered gifs for their blogs about it? It can be argued that these times WOULD have been easier given the ease of free-speech & the ability to wide-spread a message with the click of a button. However, technology has made it possible to be ambassadors, donors, & love-seat politicians without leaving our homes; kind of changes the definition of “action” does it not?

** - I’d also like to point out that anyone who prefaces a Disaster post with “If you don’t reblog, you don’t care about Haiti/Libya/Japan” doesn’t care about Haiti/Libya/Japan.

Awwh, what do you have against soy-based beverages? I do appreciate all of your sarcasm and/or passive aggression but really, it's not like only the annoying people/douchebags drink soymilk and things. Though I can be a douchebag [see post you reblogged from me xD], it is generally not related to my vegetarianism and slight lactose intolerance. But, as I have previously stated about my douchebaggery, I am going to spoon-feed you lies filled with poetic justice: Trees are so pretty omg lyk no wai, i love graffiti i do it in my spare time wen i cant get to sleep @ nite, cats are the c00lest thing ever there is nothing greater than cats, wait the only thing possibly greater than cats are owls, i don't have a job cause i'm a fat lazy sac of shit, also whales are cooler than both cats and owls because they could probably ingest both in one fell blow, if i were a dude i would have a moustache all up in diss joint but i'm not so i just like to draw moustaches on my finger and take a billion pictures of me using my fingerstache [I also want to kill everyone like this], and i want to get a giant tattoo all over my body of an anchor cus i'm indie and all indie people lyk anchorz dammit.
[Appreciate that, as it was painful to type.]

Brilliant! I don’t have anything against those who drink soy milk due to lactose intolerance or because they are a practicing vegan. During the short period of time that I worked at Barnes & Noble’s cafe, which serves Starbucks drinks, I noticed a large number of our visibly hipster customers would order lattes with soy milk, then when asked if they wanted whipped cream, almost all answer “yes!” I mock those who drink soy milk because they think it’s trendy & some sort of faux social affirmation! 

alexblagg:

nickdouglas:

fimoculous:

How To Be South By South Best (SXSW Video Guide)

This is amazing, but the last 10 seconds of this are super amazing.

Tent, video camera, condoms.

Rex really impressed me with his ability to laugh at himself. He paid Alex Blagg $15,000 to make this video.

Inside joke strat.

Social Media wizard & satirist Alex Blagg breaks down how to rule the annual SXSW Music & Arts Festival.

I want to kill everyone who thinks it’s cool to punch out the lenses of 3D glasses and wear them in all their pictures

moncielbleu:

Get out.

Our namesake in action! Loving the hostility.

allô bonjour! (<- Non-English greeting, implies Worldliness)

   When inspiration struck to fabricate this blog, and I began hammering away at my keyboard, I realized this wasn’t unfolding in nearly as dramatic a fashion as in The Social Network. After a good cry & a blueberry iced coffee I decided to press onward. In short, I’m Brian; wrongfully accused hipster & father of 2 (cats.) For years now, people have observed my beard, plaid shirts,<-Oxford comma!! (OMG Vampire Weekend is so good!!!) & musical preferences and made the unforgivable assumption that I’m one of “those”, who believe that individuality is achieved only through dressing like an imbecile & parading about with droves of other “those”, too dressed like imbeciles. I genuinely enjoy NPR, tea, being liberal, & writing, and this blog is, in all honesty, my tantrum. I’ve lowered my head & pointed my antlers at the Hell-spun irony steeping our generation like a London Fog.

So in summation, I will be using this blog to chronicle the life & times of a bearded, plaid-clad twenty-something, pleading for exoneration from mass-imposed Hipsterdom. I assure you there’ll be no lack of material as I both reside in a college town & work for the top world-wide book store chain, I pledge field notes ‘a plenty.

If you’re still with me, welcome to CB/LG, let me buy you a soy-based beverage (Did your face light up? if so, then leave.)